Changes, part IV

It was decided. I was going with Option B, the one that was super close to home and a wonderful opportunity to gain new skills. I'm not sure I can accurately describe the feelings I felt when I finally made my decision. It was a delicious mix of hope, joy, relief, pride, happiness. I was able to let go of the stress, uncertainty, anger, frustration, bitterness that had been building and hanging over my head for over a year. I felt like I lost 5 lbs. Like my hair would stop turning gray prematurely. Like the disorienting, hazy film of negativity was finally wiped away.

The weekend I made my decision was full of relaxation. As a reward, Husband and I walked to the Burger Joint and for some hamburgers with cheese and bacon, onion rings, and sweet potato fries. We spent the evening celebrating with friends, playing as$hole, and living in the moment. We watched movies and snuggled, relaxed and re-energized.

Monday I sent my resignation letter/email to my manager. I never realized you could get an anxious tummy of butterflies over an email. Again a wave of relief and hope washed over me. I didn't have to do this any more. It was time to move on.

My manager handled it exactly as I expected: detached, unemotional, nonchalant, as if my duties were not substantial enough to worry him. His response was a stark contrast compared to how my customers handled the notice. Everyone was surprised and remarkably sad to see me leave, but happy to see me progressing and advancing. The feedback has been wonderful and confirmed for me that I had done a good job.