Changes, part I

This time I really was at my wits end. I was at the end of my rope and didn't even feel like I had enough to tie a knot to hold on to. Part of me was starting to wonder how everything would work out, while the other part reassured me that God would take care of me. I swung by the church. As I walked up the brick walkway, like so many times before, I could feel the tears welling up inside my eyes. I opened the door to the narthex and was greeted by a woman who works in the office. I asked her, "would you mind if I went into the sanctuary?" She said of course and went on with her work.

It looked different with just the sunlight shining through the windows. It felt so open without the congregation and without the colored fabrics hanging from the pulpit alters. It was comfortable and familiar. I sat and prayed.

~~~~~~~

After that, (as I mentioned before) I started to feel pulled to church. And for once, I listened. I got up and headed to church, preparing and praying for a sermon that would speak to me. My prayers were answered. I was reassured that everything would work out. To have patience. To pray more. I was reminded to be a better person. It was just what I needed. Instead of going home feeling sleepy, I felt re-energized with renewed hope.

ODB

Lately I've been needing more God in my life. Life has a way of sweeping me off my feet, getting me carried away with to-do lists, what's for dinner, and all sorts of other things. I have been busy trying to answer some difficult questions in my life, like what do I really want, what kind of career should I pursue, where do I want to go, am I the person I want to be? Trying to answer all of these questions has been really tough on my own, aka: I've made little progress.

The last few Sundays I've felt very compelled to attend church. And I'm glad that I went because during those services, I felt like the sermon was directed right at me. I had a feeling God was trying to talk to me, guide me, help me and listening to that little voice telling me, "just get up, you can take a nap later" really helped. I have also started reading Our Daily Bread online. When I was younger, my dad always urged me to read daily devotionals but I wasn't ready...until now.

For the last few weeks, ODB has been right on with what I've needed. Reading stories and scripture about the things I'm dealing with, made my decisions and behaviors much clearer and easier for me. One that really spoke to me was Psalm 37. (Does anyone have any favorite devotional sites?)

It can be tough listening to that inner voice. It is so easily covered up by the daily noise of life things. But it is amazing that if we stop and really listen, we can actually find/hear/see/feel God (or whoever/whatever it is you believe in).

I hope everyone is having a happy start to the week!

Don't be afraid, I've done this before...

Hello lovelies! I had one of those wonderful, let your hair down, re-energize yourself weekends.

Friday I took the day off and worked with MamaH on my taxes in the morning. Later in the day I went to the gym for a couple hours and then picked up chicken sandwiches from BBQ World. It was a reward after a hard working week and when I pulled in to the parking lot I was so happy to see some familiar faces: BMore, Big Mike, and Kathy!! I knew the boys were coming over but I was pleasantly surprised to see Ktown! =) We just hung out and played a rousing game of asshole and later Kathy and I had a dance party to Lady Gaga (love her). It was just what I needed...hanging out, joking around, drinking, laughing, eating. Happy.

Saturday, Husband and I went to Salisbury to see my brother, Bubba, play lacrosse. It's his senior year and we wanted to go and support him. They played against Maryland Univ and won, 7-5, woot woot!! Goodness was it windy. And I don't know about you, but the wind certainly takes it out of me. After the game we headed to a near by restaurant for crab cakes! They were DELISH! It was so good to spend some time with my favorite boys.

I'm so happy and proud of Bubba. He's doing well in school, still playing lacrosse which he loves, and he's got a good vision for his future. He has an idea of what he wants to do. He's a "green" guy and is interested in agriculture and alternative energy. I think it's something he could really excel in. Like I said, it just makes me so happy to see him doing well. But I am glad he's coming home soon too; I miss him.

Sunday was a great day too. Got up early for church and started the day feeling spiritually fed. It was one of those services where you feel like the pastor is talking straight to you. I came home and did Yoga-X (P90X's version of yoga), which kicked my butt. Whooo was I tired and sweaty after that but boy does it feel good. The rest of the day was spent doing laundry and in general getting ready for the rest of the week.

I hope you all had wonderful weekends too.