Shades of gray

Shades of gray surround me today. I was made very aware of the grayness in my life when a friend asked me, when are you two buying a house?

How can such a simple question create such discomfort within me? It got me thinking. I'm at a cross-roads in my life and so is each person in my family. My parents don't know when they're going to retire; they estimate anywhere from 3months - 3years from now. My brother graduates college Spring 2012, and who knows where he'll go after that. There are too many variable factors for me to have any concrete, definite answers especially with Husband and I and our uncertain career paths. I find myself shifting from a "planning" person to a "go with the flow" person. I can't plan my life down to the month like some people. I mean who has a predictable life? It makes me laugh because I'm AIMING for a predictable life. Every time I try and make plans, God comes in and reminds me of the fluidity of life and then it's on to the next plan.

I guess the only thing I'm somewhat confident in is that everything will work out somehow. I accept that I won't have the answers when I want them. I accept that life will never be black and white, but I'm having a hard time accepting the grayness of it all.